Live in Las Vegas – Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds

Foundling – David Gray

Paupers Field – Dylan LeBlanc

Interpol – s/t

No Mas – Javelin

Big Echo – The Morning Benders

Of the Blue Colour of the Sky – Ok Go

God Willin’ & the Creek Don’t Rise – Ray LaMontagne

Real Estate – s/t

Life of Leisure – Washed Out

Lately, for me it has made me very uncomfortable to constantly update masses of people on the details and developments of my personal life. I have a website now, a cd, online downloads, and promotional videos. All of this ME is becoming a bit much.

I feel like new media has allowed for me to say, in a loud voice, to thousands of people, “Here, see if you like THIS about me. Not into blogs? See if you like THIS about me. Don’t like videos? What about informative emails? Do you like music? Apples? Carnival rides? Hippies? Pesto? Do you at LEAST like PESTO?

What brings me back somewhere closer to center is relationships.

I promoted the cover art for my album because it was a culmination of the creativity of local, independent photographers, and graphic artists. They freely gave of their talents and time.

I promoted the album because 5 incredible local musicians GAVE their time, talents, and creative capital for a cause bigger than us.

And so I WANT you to hear this. I WANT you to read my blog. I hope you like it. And if you don’t, I hope you don’t feel like I’m shoving it down your throat.

I want you to be a part of this.

I dislike self-promotion.

Recently I was able to lead a night of worship at the Irving Theatre in Indianapolis for the purpose of recording and releasing a Live//Worship album to use as a means to raise funds for my ministry in Costa Rica. The night of the event, the energy was incredible, the presence of God so palpable in that place. His goodness was seen, a glimpse of glory revealed. We opened the evening with the great, ancient hymn, All Creatures of Our God and King (see video under Video Journal section) in which there is one line in particular that, for me, really summed up the theme of the night…

“Ye lights of evening, find a voice.”

During the month leading up to my departure, I have been reading and meditating on Psalm 27. The first half of the first verse says…

“The Lord is my light and my salvation…”

He illuminates all of me. Everything about me is shown by Him and to Him. He judges me rightly because He has the whole picture. He is the only one who truly sees all of me. He shows me myself and I know the parts that are ugly when exposed, the darkness revealed by Light. But He doesn’t stop there. He doesn’t point out my flaws to me or devastate me, faced with my sin, only to leave me there, alone. Not only does He illuminate all of me, He redeems every part of my being. He Himself is my salvation. He is my saving grace. What then do I have to be afraid of? Who do I have to fear? What of my past can truly continue to haunt me in this Light? And what of my future can loom over me, terrifying me to go forward?

The theme of light versus dark in this life is profound. Sometimes the darkness closes in around us and hope is lost. Individually, we all have a light that shines. We are all bearers of the Divine Image. And if we choose, the Light of Life will shine through, Jesus Christ in us, the hope of glory. And when we shine our lights together, something truly powerful, something divine happens.

The darkness will not extinguish the Light.

*More information on the Live//Worship EP can be found in the Music Section of www.joshhoke.com.

Please visit www.joshhoke.com!

I love the ocean. I love going to the ocean because it makes me feel so small. I am so…small.

As I start the next chapter of my life and move to Costa Rica for 3 months, so many emotions seem to be vying for my attention. I feel excitement and a sense of adventure while at the same time a sort of pensiveness and melancholy as I think about leaving the people and community I love. I have a sense of purpose and a strong drive to prepare while at the same time a fear of the unknown, a fear of failure.

I’m currently reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller and it has really got me thinking about the idea of story – more specifically the story of my own life. I was driving in my car the other day and listening to The Swell Season and their song Feeling the Pull came on and I had one of those my-life-is-a-movie-and-the-narrator-is-in-my-head moments. You know what I’m talking about? And I thought about where I’ve come from and where I am and where I’m going and I wondered if I would be interested in a movie about my life.

I think maybe that movie would be depressing, or even worse, boring, and I simply can’t live with that. This story needs heart. It needs…you know…gravitas! And it needs to get good, really good, and soon.

I think I’ve always “felt the pull” in some way. I’ve always dreamed of big things and played out life-altering adventures in my mind. Before I got my own guitar when I was 14 I used to pretend a tennis racket was a Chet Atkins Gibson and that I was Dave Matthews. I was selling out stadiums and creating music, creating moments. Now I have a guitar (actually I have 5) and I no longer want to be anyone but me. The only problem is making sure I am someone worth being.

There’s this story about a first-century Jewish man named Zachaeus.

He was a wee little man and a wee little man was he.

The story goes that Zachaeus was a tax-collector in Palestine. Everybody hated the tax collectors. They were considered traitors of the Jewish people, working for the oppressive occupiers (the Romans). It would be like if the IRS was run by Osama bin Laden. In the story Zachaeus wants to see Jesus, but he can’t see over the crowd because he isn’t very tall, so he climbs up a tree by himself so he can catch a glimpse and Jesus sees him and is like, “Hey Zach! Get down and let’s go hang out at your house.”

I bet Zachaeus had dreams. I bet he felt small (and I’m not talking about his stature). I bet he was feeling the pull. I bet he felt it his whole life. I bet a movie about his life up until then would be depressing, or worse, boring. I bet when he thought about it he didn’t want to live that way. I bet he was lonely a lot. But the story of Zachaeus is not depressing and it isn’t boring. It got good, really good, and suddenly Jesus was standing there like, “Hey let’s get out of here.” And he felt the pull, and he went. I like that story. Don’t you?

I feel like I’ve been up in a tree trying to catch a glimpse of Jesus. And I feel like he saw me and was like, “Josh, get down and hang out with me. Let’s go somewhere together.”

This story just got good, really good.

Please visit www.joshhoke.com!

Lately it has been a struggle and small victory every day to get up, take a shower, get dressed, spend time with God, journal, read the Word, and continue the job search. My energy is sapped to the point I psych myself up for each step. “Okay get up – ready, go.” My worship life is nearly as strained. I don’t feel like singing. I sing anyway. I don’t feel like lifting my hands or getting on my knees. I do it anyway. God is faithful. Say it out loud to remind my bones, “God is faithful.”

One pleasure I am still able to afford is the $2 cup of coffee from Lazy Daze and the energy that getting out among people gives me. I spend time sitting looking out the window onto Washington St., thinking about the people walking by and the pain, terror, and listlessness they are experiencing. Just like me. “Pray for them. Sing for them.” Around the corner is the Irving Theatre. I sit and dream of people flocking to the doors on a Sunday night, not because of the people inside, but because of this Jesus they speak of, sing of, worship. They need to know, need to experience and encounter this Living God. Hear with their own ears, tell their bones, “You are not alone.”

What if I could offer them a pleasure they are still able to afford? A cup of coffee, a song of hope, a Word of truth, a community of people whose utmost aim is love. God is faithful. What if pain isn’t as scary as we would like to think? What if death has, indeed, truly lost its sting? What then would we do with ourselves? I have an expensive car payment. I used to make it without problems when I worked full time as a teacher. I really like my car, but I will probably have to sell it and get something much cheaper, if I am able to afford anything at all. Eternity is near – heaven here on earth. Faintly, just for a moment, I feel the breath of the angels. “I am not alone.”

Despair. It’s never far from me. I am learning to walk with its heavy load on my back. Reminders everywhere. A life I once knew, a life I cherished. This was not in the plan. This is not part of my dream. Somewhere in one of the poorest countries on the planet, the earth shakes. “They are not alone.” Questions. Depravity. Injustice. Anger. Yet will He bring dark to light. God is faithful.

Brokenhearted. God is near. Facing my pain, lamenting the death in my life, crying out to God for help, this is my spiritual act of worship. I’m alive. And if this is not sacrifice, I do not know what is. I don’t feel like singing today. But I choose to offer my life, moment by moment, step by grueling step, before a King, a Good Shepherd.

I once heard an illustration of a shepherd and his sheep which carries profound meaning for me to this day. In the story, a shepherd is herding a large flock in the countryside. Of all the sheep obeying the shepherd, there is one young sheep that keeps straying away from the flock. His sense of adventure and independence, his curiosity, continually leads him away from the flock and the voice of the shepherd. Time and time again he is brought back to the fold, having narrowly escaped the dangers of the wild. Finally, the shepherd is forced to break the sheep’s leg, rendering him helpless, crippled, and completely reliant on the shepherd for help. The shepherd mends his broken limb and literally carries the injured sheep across his shoulders in a process that is obviously painful for the sheep, but no doubt painful for the shepherd as well. Through the time it takes to heal, sheep and shepherd enter into an unshakable bond. The sheep learns to rely fully on the shepherd for every need. The shepherd develops a special affinity for this sheep and once his limb is healed, that sheep, once injured – now healed, walks close by the shepherd for the rest of his life. He is favored among all the sheep. Alive. Safe. He is never alone again.

And I sit in this coffee house and I worship silently. And I feel my aching bones. And I see the people walking by. And if I look very closely I see the limp they are walking with, much like my own. And I lean into my chair.

“God is faithful. I am not alone.”

Theologian and author, Graham Kendrick, expresses this beautifully when he says, “Worship is first and foremost for His benefit, not ours, though it is marvelous to discover that in giving Him pleasure, we ourselves enter into what can become our richest and most wholesome experience in life.”

God does not need our worship as if He were like us, longing for recognition to fuel vanity or conceit. He is perfect – omniscient and omnipresent – and in His perfection, to do anything less than to demand total laud of Himself from all creation would be to reveal Himself as imperfect, and therefore, not God. But because He is completely perfect and without fault, He demands our worship because He knows that to worship, that is to make much of Him, is life-giving for all He is made. C.S. Lewis said that it is in the process of being worshipped that God makes His presence known to men. And I contend that this is our purpose, our reason for being created, namely – to know and be known by God and to be with Him where He is.

Therefore, worship is far more than the singing of songs or the lifting of hands. I love the way Paul describes true worship in his letter to the Romans – The Message version of this is just incredible – as he exhorts us to be “living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.”

Romans 12
Place Your Life Before God
1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

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All that said, I wish to spend some time discussing the role of what we call “corporate worship.” More specifically, the role of songs, music, poetry and art in our weekly gatherings together, whether in a traditional Sunday gathering or a home church setting.

(to be continued)…

Ducks are also very kind for the most part, not like geese – so territorial and evil (Bono and I had a bad experience earlier this spring). But the main thing I think draws me to watch these animals is that they look like they are having so much fun. They swim, fly, dive, flop around in the water. And the thing that struck me today is that their day is basically comprised of eating, bathing, and napping. Who knew ducks had so much in common with worship leaders!

I like to watch ducks because they make me feel peaceful. They seem to have a pretty good lease on life. I want what they have. There is no worry in their lives. Hungry? Eat a bug. Dirty? Take a bath. Sleepy? Have a nap. They don’t seem to realize that in just a few short weeks they will have babies and those babies will be need to learn all of the important skills for survival in just a few short weeks and then the weather will turn cold and they will have to leave this place and fly south. Bono and I get nervous just thinking about it! Somebody needs to tell these ducks to wake up and get busy! There is much to be done. They are just a bit too at ease about all of this for me. After all, I have similar worries – what I will eat – how I will pay for it, where I will live – how I will pay for it, and on and on.

All of these worries of life can choke us, can’t they? Today in America, anxiety disorders are being diagnosed more than ever. People are so worried about life they need medication just to cope. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not slamming people who take medication). I myself am a worrier. I don’t deal well with stress. The wheels in my mind start turning and sizing everything up so fast that I freak out pretty easily. Matthew writes about a time when Jesus made a great point about this condition people are in and tied it to trust in God…

“Here is the bottom line: do not worry about your life. Don’t worry about what you will eat or what you will drink. Don’t worry about how you will clothe your body. Living is about more than merely eating, and the body is about more than dressing up. Look at the birds of the sky. They do not store food for winter. They don’t plant gardens. They do not sow or reap – and yet, they are always fed because your Heavenly Father feeds them. And you are even more precious to Him than a beautiful bird. If He looks after them, of course He will look after you. Worrying does not do any good – who here can claim to add even an hour to his life by worrying?” Quoting The Voice of Matthew, Lauren Winner.

So each morning as I sit and think about all of the worries of life, I will choose to be like the ducks. I will trust my Creator for everything I need. And I will ask my Father to ease my worries and give me peace.

 ”Lord, help me be more like a duck today.”

As a worship leader, every week one of my most important tasks is to come up with a setlist for Sunday morning worship. As a teacher, every day I am faced with alphabetical lists of students – attendance, grades, detention. Week after week I’m faced with lists: groceries, names, to-do, emails. I do most anything in my power to avoid lists at all costs. Something in me feels so confined by them, so sterilized by their order, their strictly informational uses.

I started a study this week on the book of Numbers in the Old Testament, part of the “pentateuch,” also known as the Torah. I’ve gotten some great insights from jcstudies.com and particularly Keren Pryor’s midrashiccommentary (midrash is basically just a very Hebrew way of saying “thoughts about scripture.”) The problem I had getting started though was the beginning. The entire book begins with a detailed census of the people of Israel as they embarked on their journey in the wilderness, a list . Clearly I was misdirected as to what Bible study I should be doing. Numbers? I think maybe this one was put in there for accountants or archivists, not worship leaders. I need depth, wide-open spaces, creativity, outside-the-box!

So I put down my Bible and sought refuge at the Starbucks drive-thru and the new Death Cab for Cutie album. Inspiration! I will set out and find another book to study. The Gospel! Yes, the beautiful Gospel I first fell in love with. And where shall I start? Matthew! Yes, Matthew. The whole story, from Nativity to the Great Comission. This is what it’s all about. I can spend my entire summer studying this great book! I set out for the Christian book store, forgetting how much I dislike Christian book stores and emerged successfully with the latest release from The Voice Project, The Gospel According to Matthew. I felt re-energized, aside from the slight nausea from all the book covers with Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyers smiling at me. (Why are their books physically so large in size? It’s like buying a self-help encyclopedia.)

I arrived home caffeinated and ready to embark on this life-changing pursuit. I opened Matthew, Chapter one and found…

…a genealogy, a list! It seems that God is in the business of making lists. It seems that God is in the business of order. He rescues His People from slavery and bondage in Egypt. Then what? Take a census. He inspires one of the greatest literary works in history, written by a disciple of Jesus and how does Matthew start? A list!

It seems like it is a major priority of the Kingdom of Heaven to create order. All of creation is in the business of order. There is beauty in it. There is hidden meaning in it. From the way the human body is put together to the way geese fly. There is glory in it. There is truth in it.

As I dug deeper I found that the LORD instructed the Israelites to set up camp in a very specific order, according to name and tribe. This resulted in such a sustainable community that they were able to pack up and move across the desert wilderness again and again for 40 years! This resulted in such an intential display of God’s priorities for His people. Each tent was arranged around the tabernacle where the Presence of God was. Every time they left their home, people saw the tabernacle and were reminded that at the center of community, at the heart of it all, is the Presence of God. Later in the book of Numbers, Balaam, a prophet, is called upon to curse Israel and upon looking over them, he is overcome with the beauty and order of their community. Rather than curse them, he can only exclaim, “How beautiful are your tents, Jacob, your dwelling places, Israel!”

God has created everything to fit into His perfect will.

Matthew begins with a genealogy which in a very Jewish way announces Jesus as the Messiah. It turns out, to the Jewish audience he was writing, numbers were extremely meaningful. It turns out that by listing 3 sets of 14 generations, from Abraham to King David to Jesus, Matthew was making a point. In Hebrew, the name David is represented by the number 14. Matthew was heralding Jesus Christ, the Son of David, Messiah and King.

I love lists.